While university means your son or daughter will most likely move away from home, the role of parents in a student’s life is still very important.
Your son or daughter will still look to you for guidance, support and care, even from a different country. So, how can you provide that without placing too much pressure on them?
- Giving your son or daughter independence...
- But it's important they know you're always there if they need you
- Financial support
Giving your son or daughter independence...
It can be difficult to stop seeing your son or daughter as a child, but you should at least give them the chance to make their own decisions. In the UK, a young person legally becomes an adult at 18, meaning that students at university have the legal right to make their own decisions.
This also means that, as an adult, it’s time for them to start making their own choices and learning from their own mistakes.
University will offer your son or daughter the opportunity to learn and grow, discovering more about the world and themselves.
...but it’s important they know you’re always there if they need you
Even if you’re far away, your son or daughter will still regard you as their first point of contact. So, while you should allow them to make decisions by themselves, make sure they know you’re always there to offer advice - if they ever need it.
Your son or daughter may have many questions, from smaller issues like recipe ideas or how to remove stains from clothing, to more important issues, such as what to do if they’re ill or homesick.
As a parent, the best thing you can do is respond to all their questions. You have experience in all of these things and more, so it’s up to you to be a source of quality advice for your child.
Parents can also help provide stability for a student by offering emotional support. When your son or daughter is overseas, you will be their main connection to life back home. This can provide them with the motivation and emotional support they need to succeed during their university experience.
Moving to a completely new country can be difficult, but with encouragement from you and a good amount of contact, you’ll be able to increase their confidence and reassure them.
While your son or daughter is at university, your role as a parent is to provide support, but also let them become more independent - so, it’s important to find the right balance.
How often should you communicate?
This really depends on what your son or daughter wants. During the first few weeks of university, contacting them once or twice a week makes sense. It will help you find out how they’re progressing and allow you to offer advice where needed. You can communicate using a video calling app such as Skype.
After a few weeks, you’ll notice your son or daughter settling in, which means you can reduce the number of times you contact them - but only if your son or daughter no longer needs you as much as they used to. They will appreciate the independence they’ll feel.
How to help with serious issues
The best practice is to react to any question from your son or daughter in a calm manner, even if it’s serious. If a student is under pressure, adding to that pressure can only lead to a situation getting worse. Your advice should be helpful and take into account their emotions.
Similarly, parents should help their son or daughter discover what kind of support is offered by their university when it comes to wellbeing. Encourage your son or daughter to seek professional help if they’re struggling. At Newcastle, we offer a range of support and wellbeing services to make sure our students reach their full potential while they're studying with us.
Financial support
A student may be paying for university in a variety of different ways. However, sometimes they may need some extra help financially.
As a parent, it’s your job to discuss with them when they might need some extra money and what they will be spending it on. While at university, a student should be learning how to use money effectively, which is something you can help with.
If your son or daughter is looking for extra financial help at any point, talk through the amount they need and what they should do to make it last. Also, try to figure out why they need the money so that the same situation is less likely to happen in the future.